It takes a village to raise a Child

Raising children is not a solo mission.  We have all had to ask others for help with activity logistics or when our children are sick.  But is this a new thing?  Not really.

From early times our brains have been programmed to live in close proximity to others, to share food and tools, to protect each other and to exchange ideas.  The past century, however, has drastically changed the concept of 'community'.  No matter if you live in a rural area or a suburban neighbourhood, families no longer co-habitat as intergenerationally as they once did and we are often caught up in the constant 'busy-ness' of life that we do not take the time to get to know our neighbours or other people who feature in our lives or indeed, the lives of our children.

The way we connect has changed.  Social media has redefined our everyday understanding of 'connection' and 'friendship', leaving us staring at screens more than engaging with the people around us.  The impact of this is apparent on both parents and children.  Somewhere along the way, we have lost the 'village' we need to raise kids in nurturing, creative, and safe ways.  As a result, families are missing out on crucial learning experiences and much needed support systems.  In the end, many parents feel isolated and alone in their struggles and kids do not have the opportunity to engage with a diverse group of people and personalities.

Why community matters

Healthy parents lead to healthy families.  Not just physical health, but emotional health too.  However 'going it alone' with even just one child, let alone multiple children, does not lend itself to positive mental health - no matter what Instagram says!  Often times parents feel stressed, overworked, judged and inadequate.  Burnout and exhaustion are real, but without a community around to validate those feelings, many parents and carers feel like that pain is unique to them.

Another loss with the disappearance of community living, is the death of shared resources among families.  From small things like meal-swaps, to larger benefits such as having a trusted friend to leave your children with, parents and children are missing out on experiences that lift us up and expose us to different ways of living and engaging with the world.

Building a community

So... the big question is: 'If I do not have a community, how do I create one?'

It is not always easy and does take conscious planning.  But it is possible, especially when you know there are so many other parents out there looking for community support too!

The most obvious place to start is with existing family and friends.  Connecting regularly and asking for help is ok.  In this day and age we all need help and support.

If you are new to the area and are struggling, it is great to connect with families at the College or with local services and sporting groups. Having people to connect with and discuss the daily struggles of parenting is so important as we all navigate being a parent.

As we celebrate the role of Grandparents this week, let us all realise the important role they play in our children’s lives, talk about the past and develop connections with our children.

Amanda Middleton
Acting Deputy Principal